Children depend on stable, nurturing emotional attachments to provide security, assistance, and comprehension in their everyday lives. However, when there is family conflict and separation or divorce occurs, children may become emotionally trapped between their two parents, leading to the possibility of alienating one parent from the other. This will ultimately create an emotional state within the child that leads them to reject one parent and become further distanced from that parent over time.
Parental alienation has many negative consequences, not only in the parent-child relationship but also causes some major detriment to the child’s emotional development, how they develop trust towards another person, and ultimately how they will establish and cultivate healthy relationships in the future.
When Children Are Upset/Dissatisfied (Conflicted) about their parents being separated (divorced), they want affectionate love and a bond with each parent, and this is the primary reason for the confusion and conflict children feel emotionally. The separation process can be extremely confusing when children are made to take sides or pointedly hear bad or negative comments made about one parent by another, thus creating emotional confusion and conflict.
Many children begin to suppress their feelings to gain approval or avoid tension. They may feel guilty for loving the alienated parent or anxious about expressing positive feelings toward them.
As time passes, this continual emotional stress can erode their self-esteem, lose their sense of emotional safety, and eventually create distrust in their ability to perceive accurately. This is common with abuse victims who often question their memories, feelings, or experiences because of unverifiable contradictions in their emotional responses.
Such emotional conflict can be profoundly stressful during critical developmental years.
Long-Term Effects on Emotional Development
As children enter adulthood and develop emotionally, the impact of parental alienation continues to be felt; for example, children who have experienced parental alienation are more likely to develop anxiety, emotional withdrawal, excessive sensitivity to rejection, and many have difficulties regulating their feelings, developing an appropriate relationship with others, and trusting people.
Children raised in emotionally chaotic environments characterized by withdrawal, loyalty conflicts, and instability may have difficulties achieving emotional security in subsequent relationships. Many adults struggle with self-identity and self-worth, particularly those who have internalized negative feelings about their alienated parent. The emotional consequences of parental alienation are typically long-lasting and oftentimes hard to see. Many people do not realize until adulthood how their childhood relationship(s) affected them due to their parents’ alienation.
The Role of Professional Evaluation and Support
A forensic psychiatrist may be needed in situations that are high in conflict to evaluate the dynamics of the family and determine the emotional well-being of the child. A forensic psychiatrist evaluates the effects of conflict, communication patterns, and emotional factors on a child’s mental health and development. Other professionals can also help children better understand how they are feeling, allowing them to cope with their feelings healthily by providing a place that is safe for them to express themselves freely, when they feel confused, sad, or afraid, but do not feel pressured to choose sides.
Long-term emotional effects can be reduced with early intervention, and children may develop improved emotional awareness and coping mechanisms. How Emotional Well-Being is Impacted. Long-term parental alienation impacts a child’s emotional state in ways that reach beyond family conflict. Additionally, alienating parents has an impact on how the child develops emotionally, relates to others, and sees himself/herself at various stages of their development.
Children need to have emotional security, emotional stability, and emotional freedom to establish and maintain healthy relationships without having to focus on and/or become involved in the conflict between their parents. Understanding how parental alienation can affect your child emotionally is critical to protecting your child’s future and helping families improve their communication and heal.